Friday, June 15, 2007

~ Single and Loving it.... ~

I never realized how good it can feel to be single. You see, I have never really been single. I have been in long relationship after another since I was 16. There are good things about that and bad things as well.

Some of the good things of being in a relationship I miss:

Not having to sleep alone.
Having another adult to talk to.
Having someone say, "I love you."
The good times, because even though there are bad times, there are always good times too.
I miss the house.
I miss the space in the house.
I miss the delusion of thinking I will be with this man forever.

Things I so do not miss:

Having a guy think he knows everything.
Being ignored.
Talking and still being ignored.
Having a guy play endless hours of video games.
Having to cook all the meals he likes, even the ones with meat.
Did I mention being ignored.
Watching what he wanted to watch on tv 100% of the time.
Fake hugs.


I really do not miss this thing called a relationship at all!

*x*

Posted by *X* @ 2:31 PM 0 comments

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

~ It is over, but I am Not so Sad ... ~

I know it was in the making a long time coming. I really did. My husband and I have decided to separate. And I would rather not tell all the gory details. He cheated, he kicked me and the girls out. That is all I am sharing with people that do not know me personally.

It is sad. I have no idea what to do next. I knew it was going to happen soon. I just hope he gets his act together and he understands that there are 2 kids involved. I really would like him to play a part in the kids lives, but the sad fact is that he has mental issues that really need resolved. I only hope they can be resolved.

He feels that if he has to have excitement and he finds that in different relationships I suppose. I have now moved in with my parents. And, I have to figure out what to do. If I would have foreseen this coming way back then, I so would not have gotten married. It is a big mess. Would I get back with him again. Umm, NO, NEVER! And I mean that and stand by it.

Not only for the fact is he crazy, he likes to cheat. I guess you can say he did not cheat as of yet. It was a planned cheating. As in there were plans to meet this person to cheat. HAHA! In my book it is cheating. And for the fact that he threw us out in the middle of the night, 10:30pm.

It just makes me feel like a loser. I really picked a loser partner. I feel like I should have seen the signs and made a break for it long ago. And the fact I did not makes me feel ashamed. I knew it was over at least a 2 years ago. I just refused to see it and deny it. We had recently gotten a new house, so I thought everything was going great. Looks like I was wrong. So, I am not really sad. A little sad. But, I am glad not to be with him anymore.

*x*

Posted by *X* @ 2:10 PM 0 comments